Good Golf Goofs

Dr. Ted Camp Founder, Overseer

A time to laugh” (Eccl: 3:4). This article is dedicated to those who hit a golf ball, then look for it, find it, then hit it again and then look for it again. As one man said, “You had it…why did you hit it again?” John Daly said, “I hit it as hard and far as I can, and if I find it, I hit it again.” A reporter told Jack Nicklaus, “You are great! You really know your way around the course. What’s your secret?” Nicklaus said, “The holes are numbered.” Ben Hogan said, “Golf is a game of misses. The one who misses the best is going to win” One man said, “I play golf in the 60s. When it’s colder, I don’t play.” The police responded and found a woman holding a bloody five iron over a lifeless man. They asked, “How many times did you hit him with that five iron?” She sobbed, “It was 5, 6, maybe 7 times, but just put me down for 5.” As the bride came down the aisle, she saw the groom standing with golf clubs. She asked, “What are your golf clubs doing here?” He replied, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?” Words on a golf ball: “I once was lost, but now I’m found.” Words on a golf ball: “I am not lost, I am hiding from Jon.” Ad: “Wanted – a good woman to caddy for me. Must have a golf cart and be able to find lost balls. Please send picture of the golf cart.” Golfer: “I’ve played so bad that I’m feel like drowning myself in that lake.” Caddy: “I don’t think you can keep your head down that long.” A man playing golf in Ireland asked, “Would do you call a “mulligan” here?” The Irishman said, “A stroke.” Will Rogers said, “Long ago man would rant and rave and beat upon the ground with a stick. It was called witchcraft. Today it is called golf.” Golfer: “I always hit the fairway, but most of the time it is not mine.” Paul Harvey said, “Golf is a game where you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five” When Deaf golfers hit a ball into a crowd, they wave four fingers, as they cannot yell “Fore.” An inexperience Interpreter signed for the pastor who said, “I tried to shoot an eagle but I shot a birdie.” The Deaf were very upset at the mean pastor. Mad golfer: “All 3-woods are demon-possessed.” Young golfer: Yells at tee time, “May the “course” be with you.” Parting Putts: This was a time to laugh but there is also a time to die (Eccl: 3:2). Your divine, inescapable appointment on the 19th hole has already been made (Heb. 9:27). Use wisdom and play the best game of you life. Pray, believe and receive Jesus Christ as your Saviour (John 1:12). You may goof up in golf, but don’t goof up your golden opportunities. Instead of a hole in one, you will become one in a hole. 

Thot: You may die unsaved, but you will not die unloved – TC

 

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